More drugs...

I went to the Doctor yesterday to figure out what to do after my last round of Clomid didn't work. We were all discouraged that it is not being consistent so my Doctor put me on a higher dose of clomid with Drexal (if thats how you spell it) to boost the Clomid and hopefully prove more promising. I am frustrated with the wait because it will take another 26 days before my next IUI, but hopefully I will have the opportunity to have another IUI.

confused!

The clomid didn't work the first time so my doc gave me a higher dose which worked the next 2 times resulting in iui's which were unsuccessful. When we did the iui's we had a follicle measure at 20 the first and 22 the second. My doctor was so sure we didn't need to keep coming into see him so he gave me a refill of clomid and told me just to come in for u/s and iui's. I have been left alone to figure out when to take clomid and when to come in to schedule u/s. since my doc hasn't been much help, I just went off the same timing as the other tries and when we came into do an u/s on my 14th day of my cycle. I had alot of follicles but none were bigger thant 10.. I went back 2 days later and they hadn't grown. The nurse gave me a perscription for birth control to jumpstart my period to try again next month, however I don't feel comfortable taking it yet. I am worried that maybe I timed my u/s wrong and could still be ovulating. I recently started feeling really heavy in my lower abdomen, a feeling sorta like needing to pee and having trouble dancing or swimming with the feeling. I have had twinges and slight cramping as well. my doc is out of town so I can't get ahold of him and don't want to start my birth control if there is a chance that I could still be ovulating? are my follicles going to just reabsorb into my body or is there any chance that the heavy feeling could be ovulation?

everyone around me is getting pregnant!!!

I am beyond frustrated! My best friend (the one with the little girl that made us want to have a baby) is going through a divorce and has had a boyfriend for a month who has been dying to get her pregnant. She didn't want to get pregnant but still didn't take any precautions and of course got pregnant! I am so frustrated but not with her, I am frustrated that everywhere I look I am surrounded by pregnant women! I have 3 friends from the neighborhood who are pregnant, my sister in law, my best friend, my cousin, my coworker in the office next to mine, and every time I turn on the tv another celebrity is pregnant! It is so infuriating! I am happy for them but I secretly recent them for being pregnant. I am just surrounded and can't breathe! I am expected to smile and be happy for them, throw them baby showers and listen to their constant complaints about being sick while they coo about baby names and room colors while I am going to the Doctor 3 times a month to be poked and prodded following my pills and shots religiously and getting my hopes up every month.

The fertility doctor

I was quickly diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome and started taking Clomid to induce ovulation. The first cycle didn't work so we upped the dosage to 150 and it worked. We were thrilled and decided to do artificial insemination. I can't explain how difficult it is to wait for 2 weeks and then have your period come. The ironic thing is my whole life I just wanted my period to come to feel normal and seeing it after IUI was like a punch to my gut, a feeling that I couldn't breathe. The day I got my period I was at work and my sister-in-law called me just minutes after I started my period and of course told me that she was 5 weeks pregnant. I lost it, the hardest thing for me to think was how they had only been trying for 2 months!! Their baby will be the first born to my husband's parents whom I adore and wanted to be the one to bless them with their first grandbaby. The minute she told me they were going to start trying I knew the call would come. I just never expected it to be the same day I learned that our IUI hadn't worked. They came to visit that weekend and everyone was just fawning over her and how she was pregnant. I felt so hollow and empty. I had expected to tell them of our pregnancy when they came to visit and here we were congratulating them. I needed to be strong for them so they didn't think I wasn't happy for them, which I of course was I just had some personal issues to choke down. After a month we tried again for another IUI with a little help from Clomid. This one didn't work either and we were back at stage one once again. The next month was the same 6 days of clomid followed by IUI. No luck!!

I always knew

I always knew I would have trouble conceiving. I don't know how I knew exactly other than a feeling that something wasn't quite right with me and my body.
I decided to start a blog to release my feelings and frustration about infertility. I don't expect a single person to read this but I think it will be very therapeutic for me to drill out my feelings on the keyboard.
I have been married to the most wonderful man for 4 years. He is so kind and thoughtful and I know everyone thinks their husband would be a great father but I truly know my husband would because he is the most caring and supportive person I have and will ever meet. We got the baby bug after my best friend had a little girl.We decided in April 2005 to start trying for a baby. I knew it would be trouble because I never seemed to get my period. I would maybe get it once every 6 months if I was lucky, but we would still get our hopes up. Since I knew it would be difficult I wasn't surprised after 6 months of not trying. One year passed and nothing so I figured it was ok but started doing research and reading books on the subject. I then subjected myself to endless natural treatments and methods with no luck. I tried Dong Qui Tonic, Raspberry Leaf, etc. Another 6 months passed and no sign that we were going to get lucky so we decided to finally face our fears and call a fertility doctor.